Pointing the Way: Helping Teens Find Direction
by Walt Mueller
He survives a plane crash into the sea, and weathers four excruciating and lonely and years on an uninhabited island. Miraculously, he is rescued and brought back to civilization. His name is Chuck Noland, the main character of the movie Cast Away.
In the film’s powerful and moving final scene, Noland—representing each of us as we choose our way in life—stands at the middle of a quiet and desolate intersection on the stark Texas plains. Each of his four options stretches straight as a road to an end- less and unknown horizon.
Adolescence is a period of life spent at the crossroads. It’s a time marked by overwhelming change, numerous questions, and a search for answers. Many teens have no idea how to choose the right road, and there are many alluring paths that beckon them to travel toward a destination of destruction.
❄Anything & Everything Sexuality
This road leads away from the freedom and joy of experiencing God’s wonderful gift of sexuality within the lifelong covenant and commitment of marriage. That’s God’s intended best! Instead, it points to a place where kids are encouraged and expected to indulge their sexuality wherever, how- ever, whenever, and with whomever they choose.
Everywhere we look—music, television, magazines and the internet—we hear a message that promiscuous sexual activity is the key to popularity and is no longer the exception, but the rule. Take for example the recent movie, Thirteen, which won the Sundance Award for Dramatic Directing. Co-written by Nikki Reed (now fifteen years old), Thirteen is the disturbing portrayal of a girl who is drawn into sex, drugs, and stealing. The film is a clear reflection of a culture that expects to gratify every impulse—a place where normal has no boundaries.
❄ Postmodern Relativism
While the relativistic road has long been a popular route, it’s grown much broader with use. It leads to an amoral place where the thread of commonly held standards that once ran through the tapestry of our culture has been removed from the fabric.
Today we hear, “I have my truth, and you have yours.” MTV’s reality peek into the twisted home life of burnt-out rocker Ozzy Osbourne’s family has gripped young viewers— vaulting The Osbournes into television history as the most popular show ever on MTV. Each episode features the family’s profanity-filled conversations. Poor Ozzy is so fried by his lifestyle of rocker excess that he struggles to finish a sentence, complete a thought, and lift a glass to his mouth with his shaky hands.
Rarely, if ever, does the show war- rant adjectives of young audience response such as sad, sorry, depressing, or wrong. Instead, the culture laughs collectively because “it’s hilarious.” After all, who’s to say that there’s anything wrong with the Osbournes and the way they’ve chosen to live their lives?
❄ Border Collie Parenting
So what do we do? Perhaps the best approach is illustrated by something I saw in Times Square. As I walked down the sidewalk, I noticed a group of people set apart from the rest of the crowd by the jackets they wore. They stood out like sore thumbs. As I got closer, it was obvious that the group’s adult chaperones had strategically placed themselves at the front, rear, and sides of the group. Like a group of border collies, they kept the teens herded together and moving on to their intended destination.
As I passed, I asked the chaperone bringing up the rear about his group and their trip. Then, before I walked on, I remarked, “I think the yellow jackets are a brilliant idea.” His response was this: “They sure are! This way we can keep our eyes on them, and they can keep their eyes on us. We know right where they are, and they know where we are. We don’t want to lose any kids in a place like this.”
The kids you and I know are standing confused at the crossroads. What signs do they see? Which direction are we pointing them to? Is it to the wide and well-traveled road that leads to destruction? Or is it down the narrow road that leads to life?
Adapted from Confusion or Clarity? Youth Culture at the Crossroads, which originally appeared in youthculture@today, the newsletter of The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. To read the complete article please visit www.cpyu.org.
©2004 by Walt Mueller. Reprinted with permission by The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. All rights reserved.
